What a worthwhile, thought-provoking article!

I enjoyed a long, quirky, often frustrating and occasionally humiliating slog of being single. Then I finally “met someone” – one more “someone” – and, against all odds, I actually got the guy! More than 20 years later, we’re still playing sophomoric pranks and dreaming up new ways to drive each other nuts, in all the ways you can be nuts.

I suspect many people confuse romance with infatuation, and that the fun of romance can live on long after the drama of infatuation fades. There’s quiet space where infatuation used to fill my head with the scratchy sound of worry.:”Will he call? Does he really like me? Will I have a date for New Years Eve?” Now, my head is buzzing with thoughts of how to please him, how to be loving to our extended family, how to plan fun things that will enrich us and fulfill us.

I didn’t marry a perfect man, I’m not a perfect person, and we don’t have a perfect marriage. He’ll never buy me a mink or a Rolex and we’ll never live in a McMansion, but… we do have our moments. For my 60thy birthday he took me para-sailing and speed-boating. Now, that’s the right kind of drama fro me!

I enjoyed a long, quirky, often frustrating and occasionally humiliating slog of being single. Then I finally “met someone” – one more “someone” – and, against all odds, I actually got the guy! More than 20 years later, we’re still playing sophomoric pranks and dreaming up new ways to drive each other nuts, in all the ways you can be nuts.

I suspect many people confuse romance with infatuation, and that the fun of romance can live on long after the drama of infatuation fades. There’s quiet space where infatuation used to fill my head with the scratchy sound of worry.:”Will he call? Does he really like me? Will I have a date for New Years Eve?” Now, my head is buzzing with thoughts of how to please him, how to be loving to our extended family, how to plan fun things that will enrich us and fulfill us.

I didn’t marry a perfect man, I’m not a perfect person, and we don’t have a perfect marriage. He’ll never buy me a mink or a Rolex and we’ll never live in a McMansion, but… we do have our moments. For my 60thy birthday he took me para-sailing and speed-boating on the Mediterranean. That’s the right kind of drama for me!

Such deeply thoughtful words! Thank you for sharing them. I think as we get older we broaden our definition of loving and discover that love is everywhere if we choose to open our hearts. Since many women wind up without partners it behooves us to discover our strengths and that we can be loving even without a mate. And yes, it is nice to have a life partner to share the daily routine. A dear friend of mine who has unfortunately passed away thought we could consider living together when our spouses were no longer in our lives. I think that would work for me only if the other person also valued the need for solitude in the everyday, There are so many arrangements possible. Perhaps dinners with other single friends, or sharing of housekeeping tasks – cleaning parties! Each of us needs to find that balance of solitude/connection that feeds our souls. It sounds as if you have done that beautifully.